Posts

Max Titov

Admiration

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The word admiration is defined as: respect and warm approval; something regarded as impressive or worthy of respect.

I’ve thought about the word earlier this morning and a sudden question burst through the fogginess of my mind: do we have people in our lives that we admire?

I do believe that there’s greatness in the world but do we [as the social collective]  see it?  Do we take the time and say “Well done!“?  Do we acknowledge the idea that people are doing amazing and wonderful things, that the values that we hold in the depths of our harts, the values that we sometimes are too afraid to utter are real, that there are people in the world who live by those values and who make an effort?

I think I do from time to time, and I think that I out to do it more often.

Max

Max Titov

Personal Mantras

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2015 is approaching fast.  There’s only a few weeks left to finish our goals, wrap our gifts and figure out who we’re going to kiss at the strike of 12.

It’s been another interesting year: filled with growth, inspiration, challenges and triumphs. I’ve learned a lot and through the process I’ve collected a set of mantras that I carry with me on a daily basis; I would like to share those with you, perhaps they too will make a positive difference in your life my dear reader.

“Be the strongest version of yourself”

Although strength is typically associated with physical attributes I’ve expanded this idea to other aspects of my life: be that physical, mental, spiritual, sociological, psychological, professional and even romantic.  Someone asked me recently “what is your goal, your motivation”; being the strongest version of myself would have to be it.

It’s an ongoing process; it’s a journey, a mission, and a lifestyle. Who I am today is not the person I will be tomorrow, or the next day; everything is changing: old ideas are dying, new ones are blooming; I adapt, evolve, and move forward; always progressing in a direction that suits my interests.

The trick is to give it your best and acknowledge the effort throughout the experience.

“Sacrifice the version of yourself today for the one tomorrow”

I often find that this particular mantra helps me through challenging times.  I think the applications are obvious in situations when you want to give up.  However there are also times when we need a break; a rest period to recharge our batteries and reconnect with our inner purpose.  I’ve found that the same idea helps even in those situations; in moments when I feel anxious that I am not performing to my 150%, at the time when the guilt and desire to push forward start thrusting me forward I stop, repeat the phrase and take a step back releasing the tension.

“Find what you love, fill your life with it and remove the components that limit you”

This is a relatively new idea [for me].  It’s a simple yet complicated concept.

The first challenge is to figure out what actually makes you happy, what motivates you, what gives you that spark in your daily routine that puts a smile on your face.  It’s a challenge because we are constantly bombarded with ideas that are supposed to make us happy; how are we to know what really matters?

The second challenge involves removing components that limit our ability to experience happiness.  There are many factors that affect us every day, we’re conditioned to act and behave in certain manners and as a result it is often extremely difficult to break away from those habits, to abandon our assumed comforts, to step away from what we were taught and believe, to decide for ourselves, to stand firm and say “no, that is enough”.

It takes courage, determination and the foresight to embark in to the unknown with hope for the better tomorrow.

 

All these ideas are relatively simple; but simple has nothing to do with a lot of hard work.

Max

 

Max Titov

Superior Man Revisited

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A while back I’ve read a book but never finished it. Different sections of the book rubbed me the wrong way.  While glancing through my notes that I’ve made months ago suddenly I could see connections, suddenly the new experiences that I’ve gone through created a better framework for my ability to understand what the author tried to convey.

  • Superior Man

    As defined by the contexts of the book as someone who gives himself to the world. To put it in another way [as I understand the author]: a superior man must act based on the best quality that he has as a person.

  • Three stages of growth

    – Developing for the sake of yourself [ie: earning money for yourself]

    – Cooperating and sharing with others [ie: working with those around you for the benefit of them]

    – Gaining an understanding of self and that everything always changes. That the actions and efforts taken by you might not be received by others and despite of that a Superior Man will continue to give himself to the world as defined above

    Stage 3 in particular made me think back to the post that I’ve made very recently where I’ve explored the idea of being single.

  • Masculine & feminine characteristics

    These are terms used to define behavior of any given person where a “masculine” characteristic is attributed to that that does not change, that which stays constant while “feminine” characteristic in reverse is attributed to constant flux.

    I think this particular definition is very fitting.

  • Sexual tension/polarity

    The author makes an interesting observation that in his opinion sexual dynamics are governed by the displacement of “masculine” and “feminine” characteristics of both partners. In scenarios where both partners are balanced in their own personalities it is likely that they will share a great sense of love and understanding for one another but through that they will not be able to achieve a vast sexual energy.

    Thinking of this and relating the concept to personal experience it seems plausible that the infinitely popular concept “chemistry” can easily be viewed as the psychological balance between the two individuals. That in order to facilitate that desire and lust, each partner must chose a particular role to play in the dance of courtship.

    Having said this there’s obviously something to note about long term relationships: the importance of finding a balance within one self and becoming a stable union capable to withstand challenges over time.

    In essence it seems that having a solid understanding of sexual polarity will begin and develop a well balanced relationship.

  • Three levels of dependencies

    – A person is incomplete and is dependent on others because they are strongly associated with one or the other main personality constructs [masculine/feminine]

    – A person becomes whole & independent

    – The individual becomes aware of something bigger, something eternal: be that god, destiny, universe, etc… The person obtains a sense of awareness and that one’s actions are not done for oneself and not for others but rather for something “eternal”

    Looking back at my notes; section 3 of the dependencies didn’t make any sense to me.  I’ve made comments like “i am not a fan of this vague bs“.  But having revisited the concept now something seems to connect.  Through a set of events and experiences I’ve developed the capacity to understand things differently.  The concepts of beauty & soul have been missing in my general equation.  Looking at stage 3 now, it seems plausable that the third level of dependencies identifies recognition of one’s own purpose in life.

    A quote that i recently came across seems very fitting now: “finding your purpose is being satisfied with where you are“.

    The author claims that in order to achieve the third level one must spend a considerable amount of time in isolation contemplating the meaning of things.

    I suppose the very same can be achieved through meditation [something that I’ve yet to fully explore] but in general I believe that the statement is accurate.  Being on your own and having time to yourself does provide you with a door in to the world of self actualization.  Or at least that is what I’ve been able to experience through my en-devours.

  • Fear

    There’s a separate section dedicated solely to the idea of fear. The author discusses the challenges that arise when people make decisions out of fear instead of the desire to be true to themselves. Examples like: men being afraid of not having enough money and picking a job that they do not love; individuals marrying out of being alone or in a similar fashion having kids.  So instead of making important decisions from a clear/rational stand point some make choices and pick things that just come along.

  • Masculine Integrity

    Aligning yourself in such a way that you can take care of yourself, those who depend on you and at the same time be aware and practice the idea that nothing lasts – so in spite of change the Superior Man will continue giving and letting go

  • Making time

    Superior Man makes time to be complete in spite of obligations and responsibilities.

  • Relationships between men and women

    Masculine is to understand the feminine/change and accept it.  “Do not trust mind/body, things will come and go but the sense of purpose will remain the same“.  The author makes a beautiful reference: “listen to your partner as though she was the wind or a symphony, draw insight but do not jump to conclusions that you must act“.

Having gone through my notes one thing is evident.  My views have changed and I think I am able to get a better appreciation of the book now then i did before.

Max

 

Max Titov

Stillness in Motion

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Travelling is our way of life.
We spend hours on buses, trains, air planes and cars.
We sleep, read books, talk on our phones, write emails, and shake our fists at our fellow drivers. We are a generation on the move.

I am not an exception. Once in a while I pack up my belongings, load a book on my mp3 player, fill up the tank with petroleum and set on my way.

Over the last few months I’ve grown to enjoy and even cherish these lengthy drives.

I don’t advocate long commutes but I do have to admit that these excursions give me the opportunity to disconnect from the world. Within that specific time frame it’s just me, the road and my fellow commuting brothers.

There are no phones, computers, television, games, or other distractions. At times it`s slow and at times the sensation hits me like a flying brick but almost always the mind follows suit and begins to wonder.

I think about life, my friends, my loved ones — those that I am leaving behind and those that I will soon see. I think about places that I’ve visited, connections that I’ve made, memories that I’ve created and imagine future adventures that I am yet to experience. I think about the present moment: where I am, who I am and what I am a part of.

And as the drive continues and the sun slowly sets behind the horizon I am often reminded how beautiful any single moment can be and how often we un-intentionally miss it.

Max Titov

Flash Back

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It’s very fitting that I find myself reading a new book #WhatAliceForgot by Liane Moriarty. The novel tells a story of a woman who forgets ten years of her life.  It’s fitting because two years ago I was a different person; if found in a similar situation I would not recognize the person that I am today.

A lot has changed, and I am grateful that many of the changes are positive.  Things like health, fitness, strength of character, my view and the way that I approach the world are all examples of attributes that have undergone a complete transformation.  I had the opportunity to discover what I want in life; define specific truth’s of how I see the world; recognize things that are truly important to me and through that build tightly nit connections with a select few: those that I love and cherish.

I do think that it’s important to look back and reflect.  Regardless of where we are it’s important to take a mental overview of how we are progressing in our journeys.  I know sometimes it’s hard to tear ourselves away from the daily routines: from the goals, the check-lists, the comforts and the struggles; but once faced with a possibility that a memory can be wiped away I am left with an undeniable recognition that the magnitude of changes in the world around me is astonishing.

I know, once again I tend to get melodramatic but seriously: looking at the overall canvas that is our lives I can`t help it but to acknowledge the unique/precious quality.

Regardless of the cause I think it’s kind of wonderful.

So, if you were to accidentally forget X number of years of your life:

  • How would you feel?
  • Would you recognize the person that you are today?
  • What things would surprise you?
  • What things would please you?
  • What things would upset you about how your life has turned out?

 

Your`s truly,

Max

Max Titov

Let’s talk about it

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I spend a considerable amount of time putting my thoughts down on paper but the majority of what I write never reaches the open public.

I write to friends. We exchange emails and do so often.

Although I find writing to be comforting I’ve struggled with the idea of getting my thoughts across in to the public domain.  There are many reasons why and it took me some time to figure out the majority of them.

And, no!  I don’t have it all figured out yet.

 

Vulnerability: Writing or any type of creativity requires some back-bone, some trust and the ability to be vulnerable with your audience.  It’s one thing to open up to your trusted friends [those few who’ve been with you through the though times and lived to tell the tale – or perhaps keep it to themselves]; it’s a complete different experience to throw yourself at the mercy of the public.

Everyone has an opinion and everyone has the right to speak their mind.  It does take a certain level of strength to be authentic, to speak your thoughts and to accept associated challenges.

 

You’re not a real writer and what you have to say doesn’t really matter: The dreadful self-ridiculing voice that keeps us at bay.  I try to focus on the positives but in the process I think I miss the opportunity to deal with the root problem.  If I am honest with myself: I think this impacts my struggle with putting my thoughts online.

High school and a single creative writing course in university were the only sources of formal exposure to writing curriculum that I had. The creative writing course was amazing but it wasn’t enough to sufficiently break through a formula/algorithm based discipline of Computer Science.

Public writing always took a back-seat to life.

Now that I realize this: I will try to be more proactive and address my fears directly.  Do the work: write, because you love it, forget the fears and move forward.

 

Who are you writing for? I haven’t fully figured that out yet.  And this might be the biggest road block that prevented me from moving forward.  What is the purpose?  Who will read this?  In this vast digital space who will actually take the time and what value will my words have?

I like to do things for a reason.

A big part of me is an extrovert  so I draw energy from communicating and sharing with others.  As a result: there’s a great fear that all of this is for nothing, that all of this is a waste of time and simply just another “whim” that I took on a spur of the moment.

Conclusion

My dear reader, my unknown confidant: what can I say? I am not quite sure where this will take me, but I’ll give it an honest try.  I’ll write for myself and I’ll write for you; hoping that somehow we can both find some meaning in the process.

 

Your’s truly,

Max