Growing up and personal growth: these concepts have echoed throughout my life; they still do; many have contributed: my parents, managers, friends and loved ones have all had the opportunity to influence and see me change. Staying true to who you are, belonging and sharing is not an easy task. The act of opening up to others will run you the risk of getting knocked around; and as unfortunate as it is, more often than not we’re going to get smacked upside our heads. Hence, the two main questions that I tend to ask myself are:
- Should I stand up and be present?
- What do I do afterwards?
The first question is a very simple one to answer but very difficult to implement. Yes, I choose to stand up and be present: I accept myself for the man that I am. I openly share my ideas, fears and desires without reservations [or at least I try to].
The scenarios can range from: how you feel about your ability at work and what you’re worth; to how you feel about that special someone; to simply standing up and making your way to the dance floor when you feel the rhythm of the beat reach your inner being.
Regardless of the act the risk of rejection is far greater when we confront the situation head on and we’re honest about our intentions. Our prize is the knowledge that at the end of the day we get the chance to walk away with our heads held high.
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” Theodore Roosevelt
Life is a tricky thing: it’s far too easy to sit back, be quiet and let it go by. I know, the notion is a tad melodramatic and could be considered as impractical: what does it really cost us to be quiet?
Well, it could actually cost us far more than we truly realize!
The second question is far more challenging to answer: the second question involves those with whom we share ourselves: those who have the ability to accept us for who we are and simultaneously destroy us.
First of all: I would like to say that connections are possible, that there are people who understand, that there are those who will accept our quirkiness and our individuality. And in the presence of those few it is very important to honor and acknowledge these rare and wonderful moments. It’s not common, and it’s not a given!
Secondly: it is equally as important to acknowledge that not everyone will get you. Understanding is not a default; it is not something that is owed; and it is not something that will come easily. Very often understanding will require work and more likely most won’t bother with the required effort; and that’s ok.
Really it is!
Stating that rejection is “ok” is not a natural response either. Not for me! Acceptance requires effort too. When the dust is settled I often tend to ask myself: is it really worth my time? And honestly, sometimes it’s not – and although it’s an unfortunate concept most of the time I find peace in the conclusion. But that doesn’t mean that I stop trying.
There are those that are worth the time, and there are those that will put in the effort, and there are those who will make life that much more interesting.
So don’t fret, be present, and show up!
Cheers,
Max
