Max Titov

Welcome to Holland – by Emily Perl Kingsley

/0 Comments/in /by

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting. 


After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.” 

“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.” 
But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay. 

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place. 
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. 

It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills….and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts. 

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.” 

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. 
But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.

Max Titov

A portion of thyself

/0 Comments/in /by

Each year, millions muster their courage and dive deep into the interdependent sea of matrimony.  Traditions and rituals vary depending on the culture, but one unifying truth remains: the bond of marriage must undergo a formal and public declaration of unity.

One of those traditions dates back to ancient Egypt where a newly married couple would exchange wedding bands.  Ancient Egypt considered the circle to be a symbol of eternity, and the ring served to signify the perpetual love of the spouses. This was also the origin of the custom of wearing the wedding ring on the ring finger of the left hand because the ancient Egyptians believed that this finger enclosed a special vein that was connected directly to the heart, denominated in Latin the “Vena amoris”.

So if you had to pick a symbol of your union, something to wear and show the world how much your partner means to you, what would you do?  How would you tackle this challenge?  I think it’s fair to conclude that possibilities are limitless. So, here and now, we are happy to share how we chose to express our commitment to one another.  It took 7 months of planning, searching, learning, designing, reworking and a mountain of patience but we finally received our wedding bands.

Many have asked about the symbols that are inscribed in the rings.  These are Nordic runes, and they do have a special meaning.  They were arranged in a particular manner in an attempt to harness that which we value.

Nordic Symbols

The design that was used in the rings [outer layer of the male ring and the inner layer of female counterpart].

This rune symbolizes movement, journey, overcoming challenges, leaving and reaching the desired destination. It speaks also about the journey of life – making decisions and taking initiative, moving the right direction to arrive at something new or different in your life. It symbolizes life here and now, action, control and protection while travelling.



This rune symbolizes endless possibilities – the bottom of deep waters where wild energies, hopes and fears lie.

A tiny seed holds great potential – everything that turns small seeds into mighty trees. This is a symbol of that seed – of potential, creation and growth that is ensured from within. The energy of life and creation just like harmony and organization don’t come from outside, it’s in nature and concentrated in each one of us.

This is the rune of stasis, self-control and stillness. Ice seems to stop life covering the surface of the river, but nothing actually stops there. That is a period of self-preservation and self-awareness, a period of stillness, but not the end. This is the rune of frozen water, the rune of self-awareness and focus, but it might also indicate a lack of motion and activity, warning to be aware of not getting trapped into a routine.


This rune symbolizes partnership, love and balance between giving and receiving, taking and offering.  We have explicitly chosen this symbol to lie in the center.


This rune tells about harmony within and around. This is a rune of momentum, harmonious relationships, loyalty, trust, cooperation and positive changes coming through purposeful actions.

This is the symbol of humanity/community where each one is interconnected with everyone around. One person is powerful enough to affect the whole of society and has a role in the development of common experiences. Each one of us is also affected by the actions and energies of others around us. There are friends and enemies, true and calculated relationships, but what matters is your own energy and the collective potential each of us can enhance or degrade.


This rune symbolizes long term growth through short term discomfort. The symbol reminds us not to fear short term difficulties that lead to long-term benefits. This is the symbol of determination that invites you to pay attention to your real needs and necessities.


This is the rune of openings, clarity, and the expulsion of the darkness that can obscure/cover a part of your life. It symbolizes a start full of activity, clarity and concentration, which is all-important if you are embarking on a new journey.

PS: the title of this post is based on a quote “Rings and jewels are not gifts, but apologies for gifts. The only true gift is a portion of thyself” [Ralph Waldo Emerson]

Max Titov

Italy: Journal Entry: mobile accessibility

/0 Comments/in /by

As much as we dislike to admit that our digital devices have taken over our lives there are times when our glowing, battery draining companions are an essential part of our daily productive arsenal of tools. When travelling abroad we often try to stay connected, you never know what you might need it for. For example:

  • Using a GPS while driving, hiking and general in-the-city navigation [finding hotels, restaurants, and other points of interest]
  • Checking up on the loved ones back home
  • Contacting friends and people in the country you visiting [in Naples we were staying in a hotel which actually contacted us through Whatsapp]

Setting up our devices was not trivial, however, with a little bit of homework we were able to connect to a local Italian network.

  • We checked that our phones were compatable/unlocked
  • We researched available cell phone data providers in Italy

Upon completion of our research we had two options at our disposal:

  1. An Orange Holiday in Europe SIM card for 30 days that can be purchased through Amazon – this was an appealing option.  You order the card, it is delivered to your home and you’re ready to go even before you get on your plane, how convenient.  The major downside with this option is that we were not certain that the data provider would work as well as the major Italian carriers.
  2. Picking something in the country. If you do a little bit of research you will find that there are 3 carries that cover most of the country: Vodafone, Tim and Wind.  All are equally good with Vodafone and Tim leading the pack with the most coverage.

After some deliberation, we settled on option # 2. The main reason was related to the desire to have the best possible coverage.

​​Before departure, we identified two different [independent to the airport] locations [one for Vodafone and another for Tim].  Our plan was simple.  Arrive in Milan, try to find a SIM card reseller in the airport and then depending on the offering determine if we should venture outside or purchase the SIM card there and then.

As planned, we checked the prices at the airport and were offered a 2 Simcard deal for $60 euros with hassle-free activation [the clerk suggested that we will be charged activation fees if purchased a sim card in a different location – this proved to be a false statement].  The sim cards had a total of 16GB of data split into 2 isolated 8GB SIM access points.

Feeling confident we ventured outside of the city, relying on some crudely compiled [in today’s digital age] 8×11 printouts with directions of how to get to the nearest Vodafone store. Finally, at the store we were able to speak to a pleasant young man who was kind enough to set us up with a brand new SIM card covering 32GB of data for the cost of $32 euros.

Mission accomplished, we felt that much more confident to begin our Italian adventure. Vodafone SIM proved to be an invaluable tool with amazing data accessibility: even in the highest mountains of Dolomites, we were able to draw on the power of technology.

Max Titov

Italy: Journal Entry: There’s always a beginning

/0 Comments/in /by

Each chapter of every story has a beginning. The same principle holds to every journey. Our trip to Italy began in a humble one bedroom apartment less than 24 hours before we were

Ditch effort to pack everything we need [including camping equipment].

scheduled to board our plane.

Typically we’re not the type to leve everything to last minute. On this particular occasion we had a reasonable excuse: we got married a day before – henceforth tasks related to packing for a honeymoon were pushed back on a back-burner.

Leaving from Toronto we aim to avoid usual traffic delays and make our way to the airport via the Union Pearson Express train services.

The check-in process was smooth leaving us with pleanty of opportunity to do some research and hit a few daily step challenge goals.

Before long we were up in the air, snuggly tucked away in the spacious airplane seats.

Max Titov

Breath

/0 Comments/in /by

You took my breath away. Has anyone ever told you this?  Have you experienced a moment of awareness that captured your entire being?  Have you ever considered the true meaning of the phrase?

 

It took me a while, but now in my thirties, I am taking the time to consider and answer these questions.  I am fortunate enough to have been in these moments and have shared those experiences with those close to me.

 

So what does it mean, what does the phrase represent?

Previously I’ve simply considered the experience as a magical occurrence that happens in movies: a boy meets girl, they date, struggle through assumptions and inevitable misunderstandings but eventually kiss; that moment is captured in slow, carefully chosen environment with a positive melody in the background.

It is perfect, time stops.

 

That’s the Hollywood version.  Is it possible in real life? Absolutely!

 

What does the phrase mean: in my opinion, we go through life and we experience moments.  Some are meaningful, many are boring and routine.  We try to fill our days with actions and responsibilities.  Most of us don’t take the time to focus and be in the moment, most of us are simply, well, busy trying to make sure the bills get paid on time and we catch the next Game of Thrones episode.

However, for some of us, for those of us who are able to step away from the daily chase, to move beyond the checklists and social obligations.  For those select few [and I truly hope more people in the world would get the chance to experience this] those moments are possible, those moments are real and they are remarkable.

 

To me, “breath” is synonymous with life and how we all see ourselves.  The action is steady, continuous, and repetitive: we live our lives as we breathe: sometimes we are calm, other times we are frazzled. Each moment alters our physical/mental state of existence.

In my experience, the instance when one utters that magical sentence is filled with happiness and joy.  The realization of this state is so powerful that you wish to stop time itself and capture the elusive moment of bliss.  To put it in another way, consider that there is a single breath that can be considered as special, amazing, wonderful, precious.  Consider that instance, that unquantifiable infinity and freeze it.

 

How do we achieve it: work, just like any other great thing you might have in your life, hard work and dedication.  You learn, understand, struggle, try, fail, try again and eventually succeed.  You repeat the process over and over again by staying true to yourself. When you reach it, you reflect, take it all in, let it go, and then you start all over again.

Eventually, you see the bigger picture, you let go of the trivialities and you hone in the components that are truly important.

 

If you are honest, true to yourself, kind, patient, determined, and are willing to be brave you have a good chance to experience these magical moments.  It is not easy, but as many other things in life, the answer/path for the things we want in life is incredibly straight forward.

 

I hope we all take the time, reflect, understand what is important to us.

I hope more people live wholehearted lives.

Our time on this earth is precious and while we are here my dear reader, I think the effort is worth it.

Max Titov

Data Structures

/0 Comments/in /by

There’s something about the following line that seems very applicable to the way we live our lives:

You can model things with data structures in whatever way you like, as long as the rest of the code in your program can work with the data model correctly. When you first begin programming, don’t worry so much about the “right” way to model data. As you gain more experience, you may come up with more efficient models, but the important thing is that the data model works for your program’s needs.

Take it one day at a time, don’t rush….

Max Titov

Interested

/0 Comments/in /by

Our world is a social ecosystem.  The human race is not meant to live in solitude.  We require interaction, connection and we do better in social environments.  I will admit that socializing is not a trivial quality and many of us struggle and find the associated experiences frustrating and unpleasant.

However, no matter who you are or where you come from silence is likely the larger of two evils. Most of us need connection and companionship.

 

Having spent a lot of time on my own, being a socially awkward individual and after gaining a deeper appreciation for social interaction, I have a simple opinion.

People are interesting. And some, I consider to be more interesting than others.

Recently, during a friendly discussion I was asked a question: “what is interesting to you Max?”

The answer [as I often find] was not straight forward and took some time to discover.

Assumptions

  • Interests/Ideas/Opinions: everyone has them and are identified by what they feel and how they see the world
  • Being open and vulnerable: not everyone is comfortable in sharing their thoughts, furthermore, not everyone has the appropriate skill set to express their thoughts freely.  Often times we face internal barriers that limit us
  • A multi-layer individual is a person who I consider to be comfortable in expressing their thoughts on various topics in an open manner
  • A single-layered individual is a person who is limited in their abilities and focus on smaller sub-set of topics

Taking the above assumptions into consideration I hope you see how I’ve concluded that People are interesting.  And some, I consider to be more interesting than others.
Although all humans are fascinating those that are not limited [the multi-layered individual] I consider to be more interesting.

Time is a precious commodity and making the essential choice to sit down, have a cup of coffee and discuss the finer things in life with another individual is not always justified.
At the cost of being considered an inconsiderate jerk, I often make judgements and draw conclusions about my interaction with others.

There are times when I am interested and there are times when I am not.

Max Titov

Why don’t we listen?

/0 Comments/in /by

I come from a family of talkers.  We all have opinions and we’re not afraid to share our thoughts.  Just like a family of fishermen we’re always looking for an opportunity to catch someone in our web of ideas.

In my early years; not surprisingly; I’ve learned how to share my viewpoints well. Unfortunately, thinking back, I can’t say that I remember listening.  I do recall, from time to time, someone making a reference to my inability to get the point: “a delusional opinion by someone who clearly didn’t understand the importance of my ideas” – might have been something that crossed my mind.  I remember feeling offended and using that moment as an opportunity to argue harder.

In the wild-wild west of opinion slinging cowboys there are many ways to be the top dog:

  • You can be loud
  • You can be witty
  • You can be logical
  • You can be spiteful

No matter what path you choose you will likely be submitted by someone stronger or find yourself dominating a weaker opponent. People are hurt, relationships crumble, connections are broken.

I personally believe that in all that madness we miss the opportunity to connect: we miss the point of living.

 

To connect, we need to listen, and listening is often difficult.

 

As an example: recently I was told a story.

A tale of hurt, resentment, shame, anger, frustration, and betrayal.  The speaker was lively, expressive and emotional.  As the story progressed and I became more engrossed in the tale I experienced other emotions:

Hurt, anger, frustration, annoyance, agitation: in other words, my internal system was gearing up for a fight.

To make a long story short I’ve handled the situation well. I kept my emotions to myself, I paid attention, acknowledged the story teller and the importance of their tale, didn’t judge and only when asked for advice offered my opinion [emphasizing my lack of expertise in the matter and my intent to be supportive] – [I’ve also done so by expressing my own personal sensations of discomfort that I’ve listed above].  But this is NOT the point.

 

THE point is: I was experiencing trauma while another individual was telling me a sensitive story.  In my moment of weakness, my default reaction could have been to terminate the conversation – I was tempted. I felt uncomfortable and I wanted the speaker to stop.

In these critical moments, we often find ourselves internalizing the incoming information and treating it as a problem; a problem that must be resolved through a quick and decisive action usually offered through a comment that is far from helpful.

We FAIL to listen.

 

Dear reader,

I would like to end this reflection with a few suggestions.

For the men who struggle with feelings and emotions consider that you’re missing out on a rare opportunity to connection with others.  Consider that your relationships are limited by your ability to take on a difficult action of listening.  The same applies to females but especially men.

For the women who often share their thoughts/feelings with others; those that are able/there to listen: consider that if you’re talking to a man then it is likely that he is struggling and is not able to help although wants to.  Help him help you.

WORK TOGETHER, connect!

Max Titov

Systemizing vs Empathizing

/0 Comments/in /by

I‘ve recently read an article in Psychology Today.  The article discussed the difference between two sexes. Below are the references that I found to be most interesting.

On the male side

The male brain is characterized by systemizing tendencies (to use Baron-Cohen’s term) and mechanistic thinking (to use Crespi and Badcock’s term). “Systemizing” is the drive to analyze, explore, and construct a system.

On the female side

The female brain is characterized by empathizing tendencies (to use Baron-Cohen’s term) or mentalistic thinking (to use Crespi and Badcock’s term). “Empathizing” is the drive to identify another person’s emotions and thoughts, and to respond to them with an appropriate emotion.

It is an interesting observation which I believe to be true.  I also believe that one should allow one’s own brain to explore an alternative method of thinking.  I for one have learned much from the females in my life.  My gained insight helped me gain clarity and deeper understanding of others consequently allowing me to find peace within myself.

Max Titov

Europea Restaurant

/0 Comments/in /by

In the heart of Montreal I had the opportnity to partake an in amazing experience.  An experience of tastes, flavours, imagination, witt, surprises and amazing autmosphere.

If you’re in the area and are intersted having a similar wonderful time don’t forget to put Europea in to your itinerary.