How do you see the world? How does the world see you? Do you know what you’re worth? And are you getting your share of the pie?
Earlier today I partook in an exhilarating experience that tested the entire core of my being. From the moment that I picked up the phone and uttered a typical greeting I knew that the path ahead would be filled with guilt driven propaganda.
It was a simple discussion: I wanted a raise in my hourly rate for the services that I`ve been providing.
The players involved in the conversations were: an agent and yours truly
This was not a spontaneous occurrence: this was an orchestrated even that took time, effort and patience to put together. I’ve spent a month learning, negotiating, reflecting, asking, waiting, rejecting, and demanding fair treatment.
It is not necessary to go in to details. All you have to know is this: I believe that a man who is responsible for 95% of the effort deserves 95% of the profit.
My dear reader. My sole intent and purpose for writing this post is to shed light on the ugliness of guilt and shame driven manipulation. I am not immune to these tactics and it is my hope that if you are reading this you will find some comfort in the knowledge that they can be avoided. That the plan has a flaw, that in order for the attack to work the victim must believe in his own depravity.
To this I simply urge you, DON’T. Stay true to yourself and to your goal at hand. Believe, hold your head high and move forward.
Through out the entire discussion the agent has failed to give me a single solid point of value. There were no facts, no rime or reason, he leveraged his entire opposition on the simple idea that I should feel ashamed for wanting to demand the bread that I have earned. And here’s how he went about it:
- This is unreasonable
- You are unreasonable
- We are one company, you can’t be thinking of yourself
- How can you suddenly ask for this? What changed?
- This is disrespectful
- I am shocked
- You are being unrealistic
- I can’t make the call, it’s not up to me
- This will take time
- You are not being fare
- I can’t make any promises
- You are being selfish
- You are not worth what you’re asking
- Our company overhead cannot afford your proposal
- You are replaceable
- Anyone is replaceable
I won’t lie; it’s not easy; when you know who you are, your worth and that you are fighting a moral principle. Each and every comment listed above is an insult designed to get you off balance, to pull you in to an emotional turmoil, to bring you to your knees and have you beg for mercy.
I suggest the following strategy.
- Set a time limit to the call, don`t waste time
- Don’t bother explaining, stick to your goal
- Give options and stick to them, don’t stray from the path
- Let him talk, don’t jump to defend yourself
- While he is talking jot things down
- Wait for 5/10/15 seconds, just wait, silence is uncomfortable even for trained negotiators
- Think, don’t rush, let him sweat, let him explain himself
- Use the following line: I know what I am worth, and I am sure if you were to put yourself in my shoes you would understand that this is justified
- Be prepared to walk away
If you believe that the agent/world is going to notice your worth [as you toil away at your post] and treat you fairly, then I urge you to think again. Try speaking to someone retired and ask if they ever received what they were truly worth. Your rate is a by-product of your self-worth and your willingness to stand your moral ground; demand nothing less and hold true to your believes.
I know, it’s not fair, it’s tough and it is so much easier to fall in line. But consider what you might be missing!
I will leave you my dear reader with a quote from a movie; I hope this message gives you hope, I hope you have courage and strength to believe in yourself and in your value. BE FREE!
Fight and you may die. Run and you will live at least awhile. And dying in your bed many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance, to come back here as young men and tell our enemies that they may take our lives but they will never take our freedom!
