Max Titov

Behind the veil

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A friend who recently came back for holidays from her work assignment overseas in Kuwait told me an interesting story.

What captured my attention and the purpose for this post is her account of the interactions between men and women, those who are starting on their journey to become lifelong partners.

It is wildly known and observed in North America that Arab culture is built on particular customs.  Just as any other example much of what is not understood in our world is often treated with hostility and anger.

So, my friend told me a story: she told me a story of women who spend their life hidden from the world.  She told me about what happens behind the curtains, in the mind of women that are on the verge of being married to the men that will become their lifelong partners.

My friend made a reference to a simple fact that for the first time in her life a woman would be able to show a man her hair.  That’s right, this simple act, this little insignificant little gesture.

Turns out, it’s not simple at all, it’s not trivial, but rather it is extremely important.  Women spend hours worrying about their hair.  Even men find themselves asking silly questions like: how dos it look, how do you cut it, where do you cut it, and what colour is it?

It’s such a simple thing and at the same time through tradition a moment between a man and a woman seeing each other for the first time is elevated to un-imaginable scales.

The point that I am trying to make here dear reader is simple.  Imagine how much we take for granted, imagine what we’re missing out on.  Understand that our world is filled with wonders and beauty.  Finally, consider that there’s even beauty in the things that we don’t understand.

I invite you to be open, to listen to others, listen to their tales and their stories, connect, rejoice and celebrate life.

Your’s truly,

Max

Max Titov

Kindness: what limits us?

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It’s the holiday season: we open our homes and our hearts to the possibility of making a connection with others.  We look at everything that was accomplished, examine the things that could have been better, unwind and toast to the new beginnings that bound to take shape in the new and upcoming year.

For some surviving the holiday season is not a walk in the park. For those of us who have family, friends, and an endless list of acquaintances the process is a marathon that requires, skill, patience, and determination.

After reading a heartwarming article titled A Self Love Holiday Guide #3 it became evident that another important quality is kindness.

I’ve considered the following question: what gets in a way of being kind?

My question for you dear reader is: is kindness a natural act for you?  Do you have to work at it?  Were you raised to be kind or did you have to learn it?

Reflecting on the last few years I can honestly say that I had a very different view of what kindness was.  I would probably classify the idea with something that would resemble a weakness. Furthermore I would likely struggle with the concept of being consciously kind to others.

For me, what gets in the way is the idea of projecting my own ideas and believes on to others.  So in a way, being kind to another comes as a result of acceptance.  I consider my actions to be generally kind but they are not because I try to win over the affections of another person; I just choose to live my life this way because it’s easier for me.

There’s a general feel in our social environment which suggests that you should be kind to others in order to get something in return.

I invite you dear reader to consider the following: instead of expecting something from others [which will likely happen anyway] consider that by being kind you’re letting go of all the negativity that burden your mind.  Consider the possibility that by being kind you’re freeing yourself from the clutter and overwhelming stress.

I invite you to be kind not for others, but for yourself.

 

Have a wonderful day dear reader,

Max

Max Titov

Personal Mantras

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2015 is approaching fast.  There’s only a few weeks left to finish our goals, wrap our gifts and figure out who we’re going to kiss at the strike of 12.

It’s been another interesting year: filled with growth, inspiration, challenges and triumphs. I’ve learned a lot and through the process I’ve collected a set of mantras that I carry with me on a daily basis; I would like to share those with you, perhaps they too will make a positive difference in your life my dear reader.

“Be the strongest version of yourself”

Although strength is typically associated with physical attributes I’ve expanded this idea to other aspects of my life: be that physical, mental, spiritual, sociological, psychological, professional and even romantic.  Someone asked me recently “what is your goal, your motivation”; being the strongest version of myself would have to be it.

It’s an ongoing process; it’s a journey, a mission, and a lifestyle. Who I am today is not the person I will be tomorrow, or the next day; everything is changing: old ideas are dying, new ones are blooming; I adapt, evolve, and move forward; always progressing in a direction that suits my interests.

The trick is to give it your best and acknowledge the effort throughout the experience.

“Sacrifice the version of yourself today for the one tomorrow”

I often find that this particular mantra helps me through challenging times.  I think the applications are obvious in situations when you want to give up.  However there are also times when we need a break; a rest period to recharge our batteries and reconnect with our inner purpose.  I’ve found that the same idea helps even in those situations; in moments when I feel anxious that I am not performing to my 150%, at the time when the guilt and desire to push forward start thrusting me forward I stop, repeat the phrase and take a step back releasing the tension.

“Find what you love, fill your life with it and remove the components that limit you”

This is a relatively new idea [for me].  It’s a simple yet complicated concept.

The first challenge is to figure out what actually makes you happy, what motivates you, what gives you that spark in your daily routine that puts a smile on your face.  It’s a challenge because we are constantly bombarded with ideas that are supposed to make us happy; how are we to know what really matters?

The second challenge involves removing components that limit our ability to experience happiness.  There are many factors that affect us every day, we’re conditioned to act and behave in certain manners and as a result it is often extremely difficult to break away from those habits, to abandon our assumed comforts, to step away from what we were taught and believe, to decide for ourselves, to stand firm and say “no, that is enough”.

It takes courage, determination and the foresight to embark in to the unknown with hope for the better tomorrow.

 

All these ideas are relatively simple; but simple has nothing to do with a lot of hard work.

Max

 

Max Titov

Climbing a Mountain

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I often come across interesting stores, stores that capture my imagination and at the same time remind me of my own struggles, challenges and victories.

This is one of those tales, it’s a story shared by Elliot Hulse:

“It’s not about living up to the heights set artificially by society or the expectations of others.  It’s knowing your ideal self and not letting that person down.  That person is waiting for you on your personal peak, and it is up to you to get there.

But you have to be willing to make the journey.  It’s a difficult journey, but one worth taking.  Awareness and appreciation of the journey to the ideal makes life so beautiful and all the negatives so trivial.  At least that’s how I think and feel when I am fully conscious of the greatness that is within us, waiting to burst forth.

It’s still not too late.  Keep pushing.  Keep fighting.  Keep living life as it should be lived.

Don’t fear.  Don’t despair  Don’t let anything hold you back.  Especially not the worst of you, waiting at the base of the mountain you are climbing.  Calling you back to dull and suffocating comfort and mediocrity.

Strive.  Respect yourself and all that of which you are capable.

It will all be worth it.  It already is.”

Having another person see the world in the same way that you do is a scarce commodity. Elliot words truly resonate with my own.

Max