Max Titov

The Invitation

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Something wonderful that I came across by Oriah Mountain Dreamer:

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithlessand therefore trustworthy. 

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it’s not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.

 

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. 

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

 

Be awesome, be present, be real.

Happy Mondays

Max

Max Titov

Superior Man Revisited

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A while back I’ve read a book but never finished it. Different sections of the book rubbed me the wrong way.  While glancing through my notes that I’ve made months ago suddenly I could see connections, suddenly the new experiences that I’ve gone through created a better framework for my ability to understand what the author tried to convey.

  • Superior Man

    As defined by the contexts of the book as someone who gives himself to the world. To put it in another way [as I understand the author]: a superior man must act based on the best quality that he has as a person.

  • Three stages of growth

    – Developing for the sake of yourself [ie: earning money for yourself]

    – Cooperating and sharing with others [ie: working with those around you for the benefit of them]

    – Gaining an understanding of self and that everything always changes. That the actions and efforts taken by you might not be received by others and despite of that a Superior Man will continue to give himself to the world as defined above

    Stage 3 in particular made me think back to the post that I’ve made very recently where I’ve explored the idea of being single.

  • Masculine & feminine characteristics

    These are terms used to define behavior of any given person where a “masculine” characteristic is attributed to that that does not change, that which stays constant while “feminine” characteristic in reverse is attributed to constant flux.

    I think this particular definition is very fitting.

  • Sexual tension/polarity

    The author makes an interesting observation that in his opinion sexual dynamics are governed by the displacement of “masculine” and “feminine” characteristics of both partners. In scenarios where both partners are balanced in their own personalities it is likely that they will share a great sense of love and understanding for one another but through that they will not be able to achieve a vast sexual energy.

    Thinking of this and relating the concept to personal experience it seems plausible that the infinitely popular concept “chemistry” can easily be viewed as the psychological balance between the two individuals. That in order to facilitate that desire and lust, each partner must chose a particular role to play in the dance of courtship.

    Having said this there’s obviously something to note about long term relationships: the importance of finding a balance within one self and becoming a stable union capable to withstand challenges over time.

    In essence it seems that having a solid understanding of sexual polarity will begin and develop a well balanced relationship.

  • Three levels of dependencies

    – A person is incomplete and is dependent on others because they are strongly associated with one or the other main personality constructs [masculine/feminine]

    – A person becomes whole & independent

    – The individual becomes aware of something bigger, something eternal: be that god, destiny, universe, etc… The person obtains a sense of awareness and that one’s actions are not done for oneself and not for others but rather for something “eternal”

    Looking back at my notes; section 3 of the dependencies didn’t make any sense to me.  I’ve made comments like “i am not a fan of this vague bs“.  But having revisited the concept now something seems to connect.  Through a set of events and experiences I’ve developed the capacity to understand things differently.  The concepts of beauty & soul have been missing in my general equation.  Looking at stage 3 now, it seems plausable that the third level of dependencies identifies recognition of one’s own purpose in life.

    A quote that i recently came across seems very fitting now: “finding your purpose is being satisfied with where you are“.

    The author claims that in order to achieve the third level one must spend a considerable amount of time in isolation contemplating the meaning of things.

    I suppose the very same can be achieved through meditation [something that I’ve yet to fully explore] but in general I believe that the statement is accurate.  Being on your own and having time to yourself does provide you with a door in to the world of self actualization.  Or at least that is what I’ve been able to experience through my en-devours.

  • Fear

    There’s a separate section dedicated solely to the idea of fear. The author discusses the challenges that arise when people make decisions out of fear instead of the desire to be true to themselves. Examples like: men being afraid of not having enough money and picking a job that they do not love; individuals marrying out of being alone or in a similar fashion having kids.  So instead of making important decisions from a clear/rational stand point some make choices and pick things that just come along.

  • Masculine Integrity

    Aligning yourself in such a way that you can take care of yourself, those who depend on you and at the same time be aware and practice the idea that nothing lasts – so in spite of change the Superior Man will continue giving and letting go

  • Making time

    Superior Man makes time to be complete in spite of obligations and responsibilities.

  • Relationships between men and women

    Masculine is to understand the feminine/change and accept it.  “Do not trust mind/body, things will come and go but the sense of purpose will remain the same“.  The author makes a beautiful reference: “listen to your partner as though she was the wind or a symphony, draw insight but do not jump to conclusions that you must act“.

Having gone through my notes one thing is evident.  My views have changed and I think I am able to get a better appreciation of the book now then i did before.

Max

 

Max Titov

Why are you still single?

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That’s such a terrible question, it’s a terrible question because of the message that it sends across; the message that there is something wrong with you.  Well first of all let me come out and say that there’s nothing wrong with being single [unless you feel that you need to be in a relationship – in which case I empathize with your desires to connect with another person].

Secondly, I would like to take a stab and answer this question.

I am still single because I am on a journey of discovery; I am looking for a person to travel along my side.  I am moving in a particular direction and although I am meeting new people along the way some are on a different path, some think that my path is too challenging, and although there are those who have the potential to go along the same route I am still struggling with the concept of explaining the value/purpose of where I am heading.

It’s a mountain; that’s where I am heading; it’s such a fitting analogy.

I meet people and I tell them; “hi, im going up there, im climbing a mountain, want to join?  There’s an awesome view at the top!”

“Hell no” or “maybe another time” or “we don’t have the right chemistry for such a journey” … boy are those some charming comebacks

Obviously disspointed I reply: “okedoke”; I turn, face the hill and bounce along

 

I have to confess something dear reader: this analogy is hilariously fascinating.  A few months ago while trying online dating I had a whimsical thought: the right woman for me would not be on these sites but rather would be climbing a mountain.

How fitting it is to finally make that connection.

 

Even so, regardless of the now.  I think it’s important to carefully look at those who cross our path; I think many of us tend to get upset and frustrated with the outcome.  What is important and what puts a smile on my face; is the realization that the experiences that we share with others help us grow, they helps us change, they helps us go beyond our abilities and understanding of ourselves.

So there: look at yourself, be joyful, be present and keep your head high as you go forth on your wonderful path.

PS: be kind to those that you meet along the way.

 

Max

Max Titov

A Shimmering Instance

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My friends and I went to see a new movie #interstellar on Sunday.  It was their second time and first for me.  I’ve enjoyed the experience but had a difficult time talking about it afterwards; I felt a bit dumb and my vocabulary shrunk to a primitive list of phrases like: “aha”, “yea”, “yup”, “that was good”.  I suppose I was a bit overwhelmed.

Something happened the following Monday: something different, something unusual and wonderful.

I loaded the soundtrack from the movie on to my mp3 player and went outside to get some groceries during my lunch break.  On my way to the store I started noticing things, I started paying closer attention [things which I haven’t taken time to acknowledge before]: a water droplet on a tree branch, an intersection light above me swarmed by a flurry of snowflakes, the feeling of tiny icy bits landing on my face, the blurred-out crowds of people in the mall [I started to look beyond them in to the distance].

I walked half grinning with my head slightly tilted to the side.

My pace eased, I started to slow, began to feel the music take me; I knew that I was getting pretty emotional.

On the way back I found an isolated spot in the middle of a field covered in snow.  I stopped, looked up and as the music escalated I watched the flakes falling – I watched them swarm, slow down, pick up the pace; some rushed towards me and others fell calmly in the distance. I don’t know how long I was there, just standing; maybe 5min?

I watched it all unfold and then I started to cry.

 

Happy Mondays!

Max

Max Titov

A Moment

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I would like to start this snowy Monday with a reference to a thought that I had a little while back.

“Big moments are important but at times I find it more interesting to look around. It’s wonderful to watch the first dance of a newly married bride and groom but if you carefully look through the crowd it’s likely that you will find someone who just made a connection: a person un-tainted by expectations, judgements or obligations.
So in a way this random moment of raw emotion is more valuable to me. 99% of the room will not notice it, will not see it and the world will continue spinning as though that moment never existed. But it has!”

So take a moment, a step back, and look around you: any moment, any action, any experience has the potential to literally take your breath away.

May we all have a wonderful week.

Max

Max Titov

Stillness in Motion

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Travelling is our way of life.
We spend hours on buses, trains, air planes and cars.
We sleep, read books, talk on our phones, write emails, and shake our fists at our fellow drivers. We are a generation on the move.

I am not an exception. Once in a while I pack up my belongings, load a book on my mp3 player, fill up the tank with petroleum and set on my way.

Over the last few months I’ve grown to enjoy and even cherish these lengthy drives.

I don’t advocate long commutes but I do have to admit that these excursions give me the opportunity to disconnect from the world. Within that specific time frame it’s just me, the road and my fellow commuting brothers.

There are no phones, computers, television, games, or other distractions. At times it`s slow and at times the sensation hits me like a flying brick but almost always the mind follows suit and begins to wonder.

I think about life, my friends, my loved ones — those that I am leaving behind and those that I will soon see. I think about places that I’ve visited, connections that I’ve made, memories that I’ve created and imagine future adventures that I am yet to experience. I think about the present moment: where I am, who I am and what I am a part of.

And as the drive continues and the sun slowly sets behind the horizon I am often reminded how beautiful any single moment can be and how often we un-intentionally miss it.

Max Titov

Flash Back

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It’s very fitting that I find myself reading a new book #WhatAliceForgot by Liane Moriarty. The novel tells a story of a woman who forgets ten years of her life.  It’s fitting because two years ago I was a different person; if found in a similar situation I would not recognize the person that I am today.

A lot has changed, and I am grateful that many of the changes are positive.  Things like health, fitness, strength of character, my view and the way that I approach the world are all examples of attributes that have undergone a complete transformation.  I had the opportunity to discover what I want in life; define specific truth’s of how I see the world; recognize things that are truly important to me and through that build tightly nit connections with a select few: those that I love and cherish.

I do think that it’s important to look back and reflect.  Regardless of where we are it’s important to take a mental overview of how we are progressing in our journeys.  I know sometimes it’s hard to tear ourselves away from the daily routines: from the goals, the check-lists, the comforts and the struggles; but once faced with a possibility that a memory can be wiped away I am left with an undeniable recognition that the magnitude of changes in the world around me is astonishing.

I know, once again I tend to get melodramatic but seriously: looking at the overall canvas that is our lives I can`t help it but to acknowledge the unique/precious quality.

Regardless of the cause I think it’s kind of wonderful.

So, if you were to accidentally forget X number of years of your life:

  • How would you feel?
  • Would you recognize the person that you are today?
  • What things would surprise you?
  • What things would please you?
  • What things would upset you about how your life has turned out?

 

Your`s truly,

Max