Let’s talk about it

I spend a considerable amount of time putting my thoughts down on paper but the majority of what I write never reaches the open public.

I write to friends. We exchange emails and do so often.

Although I find writing to be comforting I’ve struggled with the idea of getting my thoughts across in to the public domain.  There are many reasons why and it took me some time to figure out the majority of them.

And, no!  I don’t have it all figured out yet.

Vulnerability: Writing or any type of creativity requires some back-bone, some trust and the ability to be vulnerable with your audience.  It’s one thing to open up to your trusted friends [those few who’ve been with you through the though times and lived to tell the tale – or perhaps keep it to themselves]; it’s a complete different experience to throw yourself at the mercy of the public.

Everyone has an opinion and everyone has the right to speak their mind.  It does take a certain level of strength to be authentic, to speak your thoughts and to accept associated challenges.

You’re not a real writer and what you have to say doesn’t really matter: The dreadful self-ridiculing voice that keeps us at bay.  I try to focus on the positives but in the process I think I miss the opportunity to deal with the root problem.  If I am honest with myself: I think this impacts my struggle with putting my thoughts online.

High school and a single creative writing course in university were the only sources of formal exposure to writing curriculum that I had. The creative writing course was amazing but it wasn’t enough to sufficiently break through a formula/algorithm based discipline of Computer Science.

Public writing always took a back-seat to life.

Now that I realize this: I will try to be more proactive and address my fears directly.  Do the work: write, because you love it, forget the fears and move forward.

Who are you writing for? I haven’t fully figured that out yet.  And this might be the biggest road block that prevented me from moving forward.  What is the purpose?  Who will read this?  In this vast digital space who will actually take the time and what value will my words have?

I like to do things for a reason.

A big part of me is an extrovert  so I draw energy from communicating and sharing with others.  As a result: there’s a great fear that all of this is for nothing, that all of this is a waste of time and simply just another “whim” that I took on a spur of the moment.

Conclusion

My dear reader, my unknown confidant: what can I say? I am not quite sure where this will take me, but I’ll give it an honest try.  I’ll write for myself and I’ll write for you; hoping that somehow we can both find some meaning in the process.

Your’s truly,

Max